Is co-sleeping safe or not?

Hi,

My name is Vera and between my husband I we've got about 8 kids together. However, for myself alone I was able to raise my 4 infants. In each situation I found myself facing different circumstances.

What most people don't know is that every child is different as every baby is different as well and therefore, I believe that we need to adapt to each child we put into the world. My first two children, a boy and a girl, both were breastfed by me and born on and around their due dates so they were extremely bonded to me since birth. With both of them I found myself co-sleeping in my bed that I previously shared only with my spouse at the time. He, he! Those parents who don't believe in co-sleeping because of all the dangers that supposedly are surrounded by that are probably in shock but I'll tell you right now that neither one of them ended up in the hospital or fell off the bed. In fact, I only allowed this to happen because at the time I struggled to get them back into their cribs and they would scream every time I put them down after being nuzzled to my breast so I felt I needed to adapt to their needs. In fact, for the first couple of months there was no chance they could fall off the bed because they would be almost glued to my body whenever we went to sleep as I think both my children felt safest being cuddled up to me. Then later on as they got more independent I began to put pillows around me if my husband wasn't in bed or if he was he always slept looking the other way as to not roll over on the babies. I would never have felt safe but for me it was a matter of making my babies feel safe and comfortable instead of having to hear them screaming their heads off every night because they are uncomfortable sleeping in their cribs.

Like I said though, not all children and babies are the same. When I had my third child things began to change. My third child has always been very independent and showed this since she came into the world. For her, it didn't matter whether she slept in a crib or next to me and so I started getting her used to the crib. There were moments that we still slept together but it was only because like all babies she probably felt the need to feel nurtured at night, but with time she eventually just slept in the crib. I think it was also due to the fact that I didn't nurse her like I had with my first two and therefore, there was less attachment. I had tried to breastfeed her but since the beginning she gave me resistance and preferred the bottle. Then when I had my fourth child, I ended up with a completely independent infant because she had been premature at 26 weeks gestation and with all the months in the incubator. once she came home then no matter how often I tried to get her to sleep next to me it just didn't matter because she had already felt that her comfort zone was surrounded by blankets rather than the natural scent of a mother and a mother's touch.

So the bottom line is that I personally don't believe that there is anything unsafe in regards to co-sleeping and in some cases it may be what is best for the infant depending on their sense of security. However, I also believe that every parent should have a crib handy in case they go home to a baby who prefers to sleep alone at night. To me and based on my experience, children don't come with instructions so do what feels right for you and your baby.